Life.

When you really stop and think about it, it's quite amazing, really. Billions & billions of people, both old and young, just trying to make it through each day. Although each circumstance and scenario differs, I believe there is one common thread in us all. The desire and need to be heard and loved.


I have been going back and forth as to post this or not. However, I keep coming back to the reason I actually started this blog. To document and record my life, our life. To remember the good moments, and the bad, the ups and the downs. After all, that is what our lives are made of, No? Millions of pieces of happiness, heartache, the past, present & future, sadness & love. All Compiled together to create who we are, and who we have become.


My parents house sold, and their divorce is final. 


All with in a week. After a long year and a half, everything all seemed to happen too fast. And as happy and good of a thing as it is, I just can't seem to hold back the tears tonight. It's like a big chapter in my life is closing, never to be opened again. A home that my parent's built from the ground up. A home where my mother raised six children. The memories, the comfort, the canyon and it's beautiful surroundings. It's just home to me, and in one month that will no longer be. Tonight as I was laying Davis down, It hit me. Like a big ton of bricks all at once (you know that feeling). Something I was okay with, and could handle and felt like I had under control, all the sudden came spiraling down in a mix of emotions. A place inside my heart I didn't even know existed is aching so deeply. Sometimes (I would say most times) change is hard, and change is new, and change is scary. But do you know what makes it okay? The reassurance and knowledge that I am a daughter of god. My divine nature. That the worth of every soul is great in the sight of god. The worth of my soul is great in the sight of god. Which in turn gives me hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for a better future for each person in my family & hope for my own & new little family. It gives me a sense of belonging and reminds me that everything happens in this world for a reason. Although we may not know the answer now, one day we will. I love my family, and I am thankful for the circumstances in which I grew up, because I wouldn't be who I am today without them. I am grateful for the knowledge that I am a child of god, and that he is mindful of me... of us. 


At the end of some days, when I feel as if I have nothing left. I am quickly reminded of these two boys, who I feel completely undeserving of. Some one who calls me their wife, and someone who calls me their mama. Through the joys and sorrows of life, (+ lots of deep, deep breaths) together we will make it. 

We will make it.