We sat upstairs this morning and played ring around the rosie until we both were dizzy from spinning. We sang every nursery song I could think of at least a dozen times and laughed until our cheeks hurt. It was as if I was freezing time for a brief moment. Just the two of us with not a care in the world. Although I don't have a picture or a video, It was one of those simple moments that's burned into my memory forever. That face, that smile, that infectious laugh. Can he stay this way forever?
How is it possible that we can have such a perfect moment like that, and then not even an hour later we are throwing tantrums and in time out. Some days I feel motherhood is making me bi-polar (not really, but do you know what I mean?). One second you are just bursting with so much love for them you want to die, and the next you are biting your tongue thinking, remind me again why I attempted to leave the house with you today? I feel like I have been having to tell/ remind myself on a daily, sometimes hourly basis-- He's only two, he's only two, he's only two. And my comfort levels these days are not helping the situation. But do you know what I really think it is, I think that somewhere deep down inside me I am
I love my sweet Davis more than anything in this entire world. It's scary/ exciting/ overwhelming/ every emotion I can think of to be a new mom again. I can hardly wait to feel what it's like to have that same love for not one, but two little boys! I don't think that mentally I will ever be all the way ready for baby brother to come, but he will come & it will be wonderful. Scratch that, it will be a miracle (!!) & I know I will feel the same love & peace I felt the very night I delivered my sweet Davis. Tears will fall and time will stand still. There will be lots of long nights & days ahead of us, and so, so, so much to learn, but I think I'm okay with that.
I can't wait for you to meet your new brother Davis, I think you will be the best of friends.
//Friends, do you have any advice for me with the transition to two? I clearly need all the help I can get//
9 comments:
This is kindof akward and normally I wouldn't comment since you don't know me (I found your blog through Ryan, I liked his roommate in college for a short nano second)...but, I have 3 boys and I went into major panic mode before my second son was born. I really didn't think I could do it on my own and my mom gave me the best advice. She told me when both kids are crying and needing my attention my instinct will be to take care of the baby first, but the baby won't remember or mind if he has to cry for a little bit and my two year old will. He will need even more love and attention at first. It is a hard transition for them too so just be mindful of their needs and patient with their tantrums and eventually you will all get the hang of it and you will realize it's not as hard as it seems.
I was seriously a little bit depressed when I found out I was pregnant again (?!) - on purpose I might add - because I was all of a sudden so terribly overwhelmed at the idea of loving TWO babies, & not giving Quinn all of the attention that he so deserves.
What I've reconciled in my brain is that we learn SO much through our families - & having a sibling to know & love is just another way for Quinn to learn & develop. And everyone tells me (although I can't even fathom it yet) that your capacity to love just GROWS. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that is very, very true.
You are a great mama to Davis & I'm sure you'll do amazingly well with #2 as well.
And you sound like me - nest, clean, organize, list, & repeat. :)
xox
Whitney,
First of all everything you just described was me when getting ready for #2. Ireland was my BEST FRIEND in the entire world and I was obsessed with her. I felt so much guilt/anxiety and everything else you are feeling. It is SO normal!!
BUT. . .giving Davis a little brother is the best gift you could ever give him. You will see it soon enough. You are giving him HIS best friend for life!! Not to say there wont be difficult times ahead. But the good will far outweigh for hard times. You are a wonderful mother and you are going to do a wonderful job raising and LOVING both boys.
The best advice my friend Dawn gave me before I had #3 was, lower you expectations. Lower them of yourself and of your children. Best advice on EARTH!!! It will help you slow down, breath and love your journey.
Love you!
xoxo
whit what you are feeling is so so normal. I felt the exact same way! Im not a good person to ask for for advice cause I still feel like im trying to figure out this whole having two thing.
some days i still think "what did i get myself into" most days i wish for hadley to just grow up and be at least 5 months so i can hold her on my hip and she can sit up... then i just remember i need to do the best i can and forget the rest.
if you have advice when baby 2 comes send it my way, nobody told me two was an ajustment i just heard 3 was so i thought it would be a piece of cake... but i was wrong.
you are gonna be just fine! If i can do it, you most definately can. xo good luck with everything.
I dont have any advice, obviously, because I dont have kids yet. But I have to say, this post made me bawl my eyes out! You are so adorable, and the love that you have for Davis is contagious! Im sure that baby brother will be just as wonderful and adorable, and you'll love him just as much! And one day, you'll be able to give me advice on how NOT to freak out when my second comes along! Love you sweet girl!
why is it so hard/confusing adding another baby to the fam?!! it's funny that the emotions you described- while they seem odd- are SOOOO common among us mamas! when baby brother comes, he'll also bring most of the answers to your troubled conscious. a lot of them will quickly evaporate as if they never existed. and then just be patient as you're teaching davis to be a big brother. he'll catch on quick and love being part of the caretakers for the baby! Dying to meet him!!!! xoxox
haha i like the first comment. I wish I could flood you with advice...I am learning from your example, so thank you! I just love love his buzzed little head. I'm so excited for you to add to your beautiful family.
obviously i'm no expert, considering i've only been the mother of two for five days! but, like everyone else has already said, i'm pretty sure every single mother feels the exact same way you feel before adding another child into the mix. i felt so emotional reading your post because i literally could've copied and pasted this onto my blog. it is exactly how i felt. i took tucker to the pediatrician today and he asked how lucy was doing with everything. i told him she has been nothing but incredibly sweet and enamored with her brother, however, she has not been so sweet towards me. he told me he has pretty much never heard of a child who is not sweet to the new baby. so that's the good news. davis will love his brother! the bad news is i think it's pretty normal for them to act out towards you and do naughty things to get attention. i'm trying my best to still give lucy lots of one-on-one time (easy to do while my mom is still here…terrifying to think of how it's going to go when she's gone). anyway, you will do great. you are a sweet sweet mom and baby brother is going to love being a part of the howes family!
I have only been a mama of two for 5 and half weeks so I am not sure if I am qualified to give advice but what I have found is being a mama of two is a little more exhausting (like everyone warns you) but what nobody warned me about is how much better and more complete it would be to be the mother of two sweet babies :) good luck with your delivery! You look great!
Also my mom and husband were there to help for the first few weeks...I would have them take my little guy out and about so that I could get to know my new baby...it was perfect. My two year old was getting a lot of love and attention and I was able to just sit there and study all the little features and fall in love with my newborn :)
I hope this isn't weird I am commenting since we don't know each other :)
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